mayor

What’s Cooking

In an ideal world, people would recognize the need to facilitate the best possible solution for the betterment of everyone involved. The last time I checked, though, such altruistic dreamlands existed only within the manufactured confines of overpriced theme parks.

Imagine, if you will, an experienced chef who is hired by the town council to be the chief expert to revitalize the town’s restaurant industry. His mission will be to pull together the disparate area vendors under one unified, standard process for cooking—one that is both intuitive and leads to delicious dishes, while still being flexible enough to handle multiple cuisines. He offers to cook a meal for the city’s residents to gain their confidence and trust as the new head chef. He decides to prepare his famous soup, one which numerous other townships have already enjoyed immensely. Since the weather is pleasant, he opts to cook outdoors so that everyone can enjoy the aroma.

People soon begin to gather in the town square, but to the chef’s surprise they are carrying with them all manner of foods and ingredients. Confused, the chef tries to reassure the populace that he will cook for them, and that they need not trouble themselves with bringing anything else. He quickly learns that the Mayor is second-guessing the decision to hire a chef, and wants to get additional feedback about how the meal should be cooked. He had issued a decree allowing everyone to bring their favorite food to be added to the cauldron. The carefully blended soup quickly turns into a concoction full of random ingredients: lobster, ice cream, macaroni, peanut butter, and pizza, to name a few. The Mayor stands behind his podium nearby, aloof and pleased that the democratic process was going so well. Surely this would be the best meal ever, with so many people’s favorite ingredients taken into consideration.

Despite the chef’s initial protests, the cooking continues. Not wanting to defy the will of the masses during his first major undertaking, he does as the Mayor and the city council have instructed. Before long, it is time to dole out the servings of soup, and everyone eagerly awaits their turn. Spoons ready, they all dig in simultaneously as the mayor proudly gives the order to begin eating. The looks of delight on the faces of the happy citizens quickly turn to disgust, and then to anger. They scowl at one another across the many dinner tables. Townsmen who hate the taste of peanut butter glare at those who supplied it, while those not fond of shellfish make comments about those who brought lobster.

The Mayor himself does not particularly enjoy the meal either, but realizing that he is responsible for allowing everyone an equal say in the process, he is quick to shift blame to the chef for not mixing the ingredients properly. Everyone agrees, and soon the chef is made a scapegoat for not filtering through all of their input and still producing an excellent meal. What kind of chef is he, anyway? Certainly not the type that could revitalize their restaurant industry. And so, after running him out of town, they continue on as they always did—without cooperation or any semblance of taste.